In a video on set of her new Elle cover story, Mary J. Blige answered fan questions ranging from style problems to relationship advice

Mary J. Blige is spilling some of her best life advice for her loyal fans.

The “Be Without You” singer, 51 — who covers ELLE‘s February 2022 issue — took some time off from her photoshoot for the magazine to answer questions about personal style, self esteem and friendship.

Blige began her Q&A session by giving advice to a reader curious about her technique for keeping thigh-high boots in place. She admitted her own shoes “don’t alway stay in place,” telling ELLE, “sometimes we have to do surgery backstage” when they slouch.

“I would recommend a thigh-high boot with a zip, or leather,” she said. “Suede always slouches, and soft leather slouches, too.”

Blige kept the style advice coming when asked about how to find someone’s personal sense of style. The singer stressed the need to “appreciate your own style” and “not look around [at] what everyone else is doing.”

She added, “If you’re looking around at everything, you’re going to just go crazy and you’re going to want to do what everybody else is doing. Just do the best you you can do.”

When it comes to her own fashion taste, Blige said she discovered her style through “trial and error,” explaining, “We all try things that don’t work, but what we find out is that we are the best stylist for ourselves. No one can dress us better than ourselves. No one can speak for us better than ourselves.”

She urged, “Just believe what you have is great, and it’ll be great.”

Blige also shared her tips for maintaining confidence, especially when it comes to social media. Blige, who has over five million followers on Instagram, told a fan who felt insecure about their appearance in photos to take a break from apps and shift their focus.

“Get to know who you are from the inside out,” she said. “Because the beauty has nothing to do with your makeup and retouching. It has something to do with how you feel about you.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

For another fan feeling less confident after gaining weight during the pandemic, Blige advised them not to stress over a few pounds.

“Learn how to accept that for now. Set a goal for where you want to be, and work toward that goal,” she said, adding, “until then, don’t stress out about where you are.”

Blige ended her clip by helping a fan struggling with their personal relationships. Offering advice to a reader who felt like they had “outgrown” their friends, she said, “give them some space, and see if they’re real.”

“See if it’s time to move on,” she added. “It may not be time, but when you give people space, you find out who they are.”